In a world with a 4 year old, a 3 year old, a 16 month old, a 3 month old and two soldiers you never know what misadventures await. Life is always springing the unexpected and I want to share them with you. Welcome to my world.
What's sleep? I have no idea! I have a three year old's birthday party to prepare for and a really awesome pirate island cake to make, it's actually my guinea pig cake for the one I'll make at the end of June, but its a lot of work. A lot of work and so little time. So, sleep what is it and will I ever get any? Probably in the car! Have a great Monday!
Yes, you really are in the right place. My Friday was kind of a crazy day with my Hubby coming home from what like a very long AT. So, we were quite far from home in order to collect him and all of his Army equipment, and we didn't make it home til after nine o'clock last night. And then of course, all I wanted to do was drink in his presence. Anyway, so I am alive and you are in the the right place.
I don't know if its just because I'm an Army Wife & Momma or what but there is such a comfort in writing. I write about lots of things, mostly my kids and my sexy Hubby, but here I'm free to write whatever. In starting my blog I found a freedom the from the writer's block that's plagued me for years and that is very nice. I kind of live for writing for my blog and enjoy what it brings to me.
I have three truly amazing kids with my Hubby of five years. With some incredibly rough pregnancies we're very blessed to have our kids. Aidan's just turned 3 and is in the middle of potty training, and really isn't doing too bad. Aislynn turns 2 next month and is our spitfire princess, were really trying to find a way to curb her temper tantrums. Our newest addition, Rhiannon Brielle is 12 weeks old and is doing wonderful after having been born 5 weeks premature. I love my miracle babies and wouldn't change any of the things I've been through to get them here.
I hope you'll come back and join us for our Misadventures, because in this house you never know what can happen.
Yes, I am still up and yes I should get my butt into bed. But here is a song to make your Night/Day. I hope you will enjoy it and a heads up apparently they are now giving back boob jobs! Love you all!
I want to thank all of you who have endured my constant pestering about voting over the last few weeks for the Circle of Moms Top 25 Military Family Blogs. It ended yesterday evening and although I didn't make it into the top 25, I found did manage to make it into 29th place, which to me is still a big honor. It was thanks to all of you and to my really awesome family who really went to bat trying to get me all the votes I needed to at least hit #25. Thanks guys, you rock! I couldn't ask for a better family. I was amazed at the votes I got from all my readers, cause it actually showed I had readers ;). I try to make this entertaining and not put you all to sleep. Anyway, so now thats all done I'll try not to hit you up on anything requiring voting for awhile. But once again thanks from the bottom of this Army Momma's heart for being so supportive and continuing to give me a reason to keep writing.
'The Sketon will eat my apple, Mom,' Aidan informed me yesterday evening, as I stood by the door on his side of the car. We were at the top of a mountain pass on our way home from running a quick errand and we'd stopped so I could toss his apple core into the bushes so we could feed the deer. That's what I told him, so I didn't hear the rest of the way home, 'My apples yucky, Mom. Yucky. You have it. It's yucky.' I was beyond exhausted at this point, I've made as few trips outside my house with the kids since my surgery as possible I just can't seem to keep up my energy long. I become irritable quickly and my strength drains quickly as well, so carrying them and chasing them becomes near impossible. So I figured the deer would love such a sweet treat and it wasn't really littering.
So, as I got out and showed him where I was tossing it. I saw the skeleton of what I assumed was a deer, I pointed it out to him. Which as a three year old, who has really been getting a kick out of watching Tim Burton's Corpse Bride the last month, thought it was soooo cool.
He wanted to see more of it and then of course Aislynn on the other side of the car & the other side of Rhiannon's carseat wanted to see too. So, being 'Supermom' I found the least gross piece of bone, which was a piece of jawbone and took it over to show them. I then realized it was actually a coyote or something carnivorous, not a deer. Aidan liked that it had teeth, he knew what that was.
We then got on our way home, when he proceeded to tell me that the Sketon was going to eat his apple. I tried really hard to explain to him that skeletons were dead and that they didn't eat things. He didn't believe/understand. So, I gave up and let him believe whatever his cute little three year old imagination wanted to believe. So, the 'Sketon ate his apple.'
Sorry ladies nothing fun. When my Hubby comes home I'm going to make him buy an edger. Yeah, exciting, huh? Let's just say edging the lawn with kitchen shears sucks! (I tried to track down a funny picture, but I couldn't ;) ) I'm not kidding I just got doing a small portion of the edge of my house because I haven't been able to track down an edger. I'm paranoid about housing coming around and docking points since my yard isn't edged.
Unfortunately the place on post that lets us check out yard equipment has hours convenient for them but not for me a currently 'single' mother of three. I can't exactly drag all three of my little ones over there and cart lawn equipment at the same time. Not to mention I'm still just not up to my normal self from surgery and the idea of actually doing the yard work wears me out. Makes my abdomen hurt, too. Recovering from surgery stinks. I hope everyone has a happy Monday. ;)
By the way, thanks for all the voting you guys have all been doing for me and the blog on Circle of Moms' Top 25 Military Family Blogs. We're currently sitting tied for #31 and we have two days left, we just might make it if we all keep voting every 24 hours. I would really love to receive this recognition, so please help the blog out. ;)
Things are better. I want you to know that the last few days or rather weeks have not been all bad. I've had some fun with my kids. I have recovered from my disappointment of not having the help I really need in getting my husband sent home early. I cried a few tears, yes those tears I said that I said were forbidden and yes I cried them alone and to my husband over the phone, I couldn't help it. We worked things out as best we could. Members of my LDS Ward brought my family dinners all week long which helped me take it easy and of course before my husband left he arranged to have a buddy from work come mow my lawn. Now I just need to get it edged and the fenced in area of my yard done as well then I'm good. Of course that requires tracking down an edger and gathering up the energy to do it or finding a good samaritan to do it for me. ;) Anyway I was going to attempt to do that today, but it decided to rain. So no such luck, hope housing doesn't decide to come around tomorrow I don't need to stress about losing points tomorrow.
I want to thank all of you who have been concerned for me over the Red Cross message and know that although I was disappointed I am doing fine, counting doing days & a wake up til my husband's home again. Thanks also to all of you who have been voting for me on Circle of Mom's Top 25 Military Family Blogs. My blog is currently #32 and just a few votes away from becoming #31. I know it may seem silly but I'm really hoping to make it to #25 by the 25th it would be a big deal to me for my blog. So, please keep voting, especially if you think my blog deserves it and is entertaining & whatnot. I hope you all have a great Sunday. I'll leave you with this cute photo I took of Rhiannon today with my phone.
Fairly emergent gallbladder surgery. Red Cross Message Sent. Red Cross Message Received. Had discussion at Commander's behest. Discussion was past on to Commander. Command Circle Decides. Situation doesn't constitute soldier's return, if situation worsens then they will reevaluate. End of discussion. Do as we always do, get through. No choice. Don't think. Don't feel. Just do. End of discussion.
I am participating in this year's Circle of Mom's Top 25 Military Family Blogs and can I just say how surprised I am at being in the top 50 blogs. I'm currently ranked in 39th, but of course with numbers being added constantly the numbers and positions change frequently. I'm loving seeing the numbers change and I love seeing my blog move up the chart. In order for me to actually make it into the top 25 I need a total of 74 votes and that puts me at 25. I would love to make the Top 25, so if you love reading my blog and think that it deserves making the top 25, please go to Circle of Mom's Top 25 Military Family Blogs and vote every 24 hours until the 25th of May and help me. I appreciate all your support and if I can make the top it will be my first official award for my blog! So, let's see Misadventures of An Army Momma With Three Under 3 make Top 25!
I cannot believe that my sweet (most of the time) little boy turned three today. Where has the time gone? I remember all the months struggling to get pregnant with him, all the miscarriages we endured, the surgery and the car accident all before we found out we were pregnant. As hard as all of that seemed, it must have been necessary steps to us getting pregnant because like two weeks following my car accidents we got pregnant and we found out a few months later that we were. Boy were we excited. The beginning of the pregnancy wasn't too bad compared to what lay ahead, I had morning sickness pretty bad, but eventually it subsided and I started to feel pretty good. But right around 20 weeks my health started to go downhill and it was rough the rest of the pregnancy. It started with a kidney stone sending pain ripping through me in the middle of the night and eventually came down to either I get a nephrostomy tube or I lose my right kidney. So, I got the tube and spent the last three months of my pregnancy carrying a bag of my urine, draining it every few hours and having to have the tube replaced every couple of weeks while I was a awake (not a pleasant experience.) Then I was induced a week early and after having the first epidural work too well and the nurse turn it off (got me in trouble with the Dr), and the second not working at all, I delivered Aidan naturally with tons & tons of tears. I looked at my baby and forgot about how awful all of that was. He was here and he was a miracle. Now, he's three. My baby that I suffered so much for isn't a baby anymore and I feel like I blinked and his being a baby was gone.
Happy Birthday Aidan! I love you and I hope you had a pretty good birthday!
By the way, I'm doing okay following my gallbladder surgery. I hurt. Alot. I've over done it, but my help went home yesterday and we're still waiting to find out if they'll let my Hubby come home or not. I'm frustrated. I'll do what I have to do, I'm an Army wife, it's what we do. I don't mean to sound whiny cause I know there are so many of us out there whose spouses are overseas and are going through alot of crap and would love for their spouses to come home to help. But he's not over there and so it kind of makes it easier for him to be sent home for an emergency and it is an emergency. Its not like I have the stomach flu and want him sent home, I did have major surgery and now all three of my kids have raging fevers, including my preemie which is very scary and I can barely care for myself and take care of all our basic needs because I have to. Anyway, we're fighting the Army and I'm stressed. Just tell us yes or no and don't say these are the reasons we will send him home, then change your mind. Grrrrr. Its been one of those days. I hurt so bad I can barely move. I feel like I'm an overly grouchy mom today and my kids have picked today as a massive rebellion day. Perhaps I'll send them to live at the zoo till my Hubby comes home. Hmmmm...that's an idea....
I've decided that God must think I need lots of testing or that I can handle a ton cause here I am just recovered from my D&C. It was two weeks ago this last Monday and now I have new issue. My Gallbladder has decided to turncoat on me. It gave me issues during my pregnancy with Aislynn and for a short while after and every so often since, but it sent me to the hospital last night with the worst pain I have ever had in my entire life. I was bawling like a really big baby and it doesn't help that I am a 'Single' Mom at the moment either. Aidan kept telling me its ok and not to cry the whole hour part of the two hour drive I managed to drive. My brother-in-law, his wife and my sister-in-law all met me part of the way and we played musical cars. My brother-in-law took me to the hospital and my sister-in-law took my car & kids to my in-laws. After all the tests and meds, then going into meet a general surgeon today it was decided that it was my gallbladder and that more than likely I'll feel better once its removed. So, I'm looking for all the help I can get since I'm not altogether sure if my husband will really push to come home early or not. He's a little stressed about money right now and so money/Army take precidence over me. I wish he'd come home, I don't want to do this surgery alone. Anyway, I'm not sure how often I'll be able to get on, but I'll try when I can so don't worry that I've dropped off the face of the planet I'm still here.
I had decided to attempt to nurse her today since I normally pump and then feed her the bottle. She never really did get the hang of nursing. Sometimes she can with the help of a nipple shield, but apparently I'm not supposed to use that long term. I'd like to know who decided that? Anyway so this is the conversation Aidan and I had while I was nursing. It makes me laugh the sorts of connections his little three year old brain makes. Gotta love him!
I am way behind on this I know, but I hope you will bear with me while I try and catch up. Here are a few of the questions answered and hopefully over the next day or so I'll finish the rest. I hope to be ready for this Friday's questions. So, come join me on MilSpouse Friday Fill-In!
Have you and your spouse agreed to live in separate locations (a geographical bachelor tour) knowing that the short-term inconvenience would have long-term benefits for your family? How did it work for you? submitted by When Good People Get Together No way. I give kudos to any couple who can make a decision like that and make things work, but I couldn't do it. Its one thing if they go on a hardship tour of duty ie Iraq or Korea, but any where else I couldn't bear to be apart from my husband and nothing is worth it to me to be. We're better together. What is your favorite thing about being a MilSpouse? submitted by Sarah Ruth Today I think its the pride in knowing that My Husband is out there fighting for us all and not everyone can say that. I love being a soldier's wife, even when things aren't easy. There are a lot of people who didn't think I could handle being a soldier's wife and I love proving them wrong every day. 5 years and going strong!
If you could still have your spouse/significant other and your family, but take the military life out of it…would you? submitted by Trust. Love. Believe. Bake. I met my Husband pre-Army, but he told me long before that this was what he was going to do. I think even in an alternate reality it would be a toss up. There are things I love about being a MilSpouse which include my Hubby & kids, but things I hate, as we all do. So, I couldn't really say. What have your homecoming experiences been like after a year long tour of separation? submitted by Army Soldier, Army Wife I actually saved up and sold the $500 worth of Girl Scout cookies my Hubby had bought prior to deployment, and drove to Ft Carson where he was flying back after serving in Iraq. I got to meet the buses as they drove through the post and sat anxiously through the 'Welcome Home' ceremony. I couldn't find him in the endless sea of uniforms and I went looking for him on the floor, while he'd gone looking for me on the bleachers, eventually we found each other. Lots and lots of tears, it had been the longest year of my life. They had to stay in the barracks on post, so I secretly stayed in his room. They were pretty nice (except for the twin size bed that COULD NOT accommodate 2). It was two sleeping rooms connected to a kitchenette and a bathroom. Apparently everybody really knew I was there, but no one wanted to make him send me away and I wasn't bothering anyone. Made for quite the adventure. Then we drove back home to Utah and took our time doing it. We even stayed a night in a haunted hotel with a ghostly experience. If you have a child(ren) why you chose their name(s)? If not, why you would name your child something? submitted by Tiara’s & ACU’s We both come from larger families, I have four other siblings and he has five so the odds of coming up with a unique name is tricky. We also are very big into our Celtic Heritage and so the combination seemed like the solution. So we have Aidan Christopher (Christopher is actually after my Hubby since he wanted a JR and I said NO!), then there's Aislynn Elayne (Elayne is from a book series we really like) and Rhiannon Brielle Adelaide (poor kid got stuck with two middle names cause we couldn't decided which name we liked better). The thing is though their names fit them and I can't imagine them any other way, including my little Rhiannon. How many pets do you have? And what type? submitted by Life and Times of a Displaced Jersey Girl We have two dogs. A pure breed Alaskan Malamute and a Wolamute, but really they are more my Hubby's dogs even though both were supposed to be mine. Its what happens I suppose when you get a puppy and then find out you're expecting. ;) What are your favorite projects to do while hubby is away? submitted by my-inspired-nest
Scrapbooking and quilting. I also make cakes such as this dragon I made for my husband. What do ya think? What are the must-haves in your deployment care packages? submitted by Christine’s Little Blog I found that the things he couldn't get were the must-haves and always the surprise. Ask me about the time his package jingled! Its the little luxuries from home. I even made him homemade beef jerky and dried fruit, which he loved! If you could star in any TV show, which would it be? submitted by Just a Girl Vampire Diaries, I love it. Its got hot boys, vampires, and interesting drama that isn't everyone sleeping with everyone else! What was the biggest hurdle that you faced during your/your significant other’s first deployment? submitted by The Pavlik Perspective The entire first year of marriage. Ok, so besides that I had to have a surgical procedure to remove all the endometriosis that had built up on my bladder, ovaries, etc over the years so that we could actually maintain a pregnancy. We'd already endured three miscarriages at that point and this was the next step. It wasn't the most horribly drastic surgery, but to have a major surgery while your spouse is deployed is hard. I wanted him there when I woke up in recovery and I wanted him to take care of me, but instead my sweet Mom took care of me instead. With PCS moves happening every few years, do you take the time to paint and decorate your home? submitted by Life as Mrs. JPT As a Reservist's wife I hadn't had to worry about that one, but we do live on base now because of my Hubby's civilian job. We've been here almost two years and haven't painted & haven't really done any wall decorating. I'm not really sure why to be honest. What inspired you to start your blog? submitted by Pink Combat Boots I need to write, to break out of my writer's block and it worked. It also gave me the chance to write the little stories about my kids, the ones you want to remember and to write about whatever comes to mind. Plus the idea that its 'out there' is kind of nice. What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen on base? submitted by Adventures in Life I had to wait for three antelope to cross the road and it was at their leisure too. It was in the middle of the base, too. I almost felt like there was some kind of invisible but given Antelope crossing sign. I also saw a dog in the library. Ok, so she was on a lead and was being trained to be a physical therapy dog, but still last place you expect to see one. Which historical figure (politician, writer, artist, scientist, actor, etc…) would you like to have dinner with? submitted by Army of Two I'd love to have dinner with William Shakespeare, because that man had talent. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I love to read his plays and get lost in their stories. It was actually something I loved doing in English in school. Normally I hate picking apart a story, ruins it for me, but Shakespeare I can go over and over again. I might think of someone else later, but for now its just Shakespeare If you were allowed to deploy with your husband to a war zone would you and why? submitted by I & J Maybe, but having had to deal with the whole you can be in the same unit but have to pretend you aren't married I'm not sure I could do that over there for a longer frame of time. A weekend is one thing but months is something else entirely. Of course, my Hubby told me its different over there and that they had a married couple deployed together over there and they even got to live in the same hooch together. Sometimes that beats all that time apart. But then I think of my babies and could I be apart from them? That's where the question really lies. Have you ever done anything (intentionally, or unintentionally) to embarrass your spouse/significant other in front of his military cohorts? submitted by Marrying the Navy Once when we were dating, I came to have lunch with him and a buddy during a Drill weekend. When we got to McDonald's I saw BDUs out of the corner of my eye and so I reached my arm around his waist only discover it was his buddy and not him. Maybe it was me who was more embarrassed, but he can tell people I hugged his Army buddy. Someone from his unit once thought that we wanted to have a threesome with him. All I can say is for as open minded as I am--ehhh gross! What is your most irrational fear? submitted by Eights on the Move Enclosed spaces and the elevators crashing the moment I set foot inside & the door closes. I am SO clausterphobic that its not funny. Infact, I'm going to school to become an archaeologist and so my father-in-law hooked us up on a tour of some local with our state's archaeologist. I forced myself to go and then I took photographic evidence to have proof that I went into a cave and spent more than 5 secs in them.
If you could only live in one kind of climate for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? submitted by Many Waters Mediocre. A nice 60 degrees with occasional rain, real breezy. I'd be in heaven. Unfortunately, during my time in the Army I have been a heat casualty and a cold weather casualty, so I can't really handle extremes of either. I don't really enjoy spending time in the ER for either.
I promise I really do intend on going to bed and soon, but I had to share this picture I found. When Christopher and I were dating he picked an engagement & wedding band set for the 'someday' when we'd get married. He printed off a picture to show me and wrote the words I promise underneath. Well, a couple years later when we were really ready to get married we could no longer find this ring, but I still had the photo and we both knew that we could probably find some custom shop to make it for us but money was, is and probably will be for a while an issue. Anyway, I decided out of the blue yesterday to look at various Celtic style rings. We are very true to our heritage if you can't tell by our children's names: Aidan, Aislynn and Rhiannon. Low and behold I found my ring. I was delighted. Still can't afford it, but I found it. Here it is in all its Celtic glory.
I think its absolutely gorgeous and the bands have the same design just minus the diamond. For now I wear a sterling silver sliver band with a 1/4 kt diamond and a plain gold band purchased from Walmart the day we got married for $75. They work. I've had them the entire I've been married, but someday I want the fancy matching set. Remind me sometime to tell you the story about where my engagement ring came from, its an interesting story. Alright, I truly am off to bed at least for a while before my little Pixie decides its time to eat again. I hope to hear from you all soon.
Almost no words need to be written about this picture. I told you crazy things happen at my house and that includes Daddy putting kids in his brand new ACU rucksack. If you think it's crazy that Aislynn, my 23lbs 2 year old is in there then I'll have to put up pictures later of Aidan, my 30lbs 3 year old riding in there too. My Husband has even talked, and I mean seriously talked, about talking our family for a walk around post toting one of my kids in his rucksack as a great way to workout. I think he's crazy, but whatever works for him and my kids sure seem to enjoy riding in there. Like I said I never know what 'Misadventures' are going to occur at my house. Come share them with me!
Although, I didn't have the kind of Mother's Day I would have hoped for my Hubby didn't forget about me either. The morning he left he sent me out to get us some breakfast bowls from the freezer in our garage. Sort of an Army style last date before he was off to his 'Big Adventure.' I headed out there and sitting on top of our deep freezer was this.....
and a very sweet card, which I didn't read until he had left. Probably a good thing cause I bawled the whole way through it, but it was so nice knowing that he hadn't forgotten me in all the craziness that is the life of getting ready to go away with the Army. He also called me this morning or rather yesterday morning at one of the few locations that he has reception to wish me 'Happy Mother's Day.' It was nice, but it was sad since he could only talk for a moment and I wanted more. But isn't that how it always is as a MilSpouse when your spouse is gone? We love whatever we get from them as far as communication goes, but its never enough and we'd do just about anything to have more. Then we get to deal with the uncertainty of when they'll call back and since my cell phone is on the fast decline (a very bad thing in this day and age) I can't even send him texts. Anyway, it really wasn't too bad of a day. Although I would have preferred something fancier for dinner than Tostinos frozen pizza, but with two picky toddlers and me, why make something fancy and expensive? There wasn't. So, maybe my Hubby will treat me out when he gets back? Happy Mother's Day.
I can't decide whether I'm being ambitious and finding homes for things that have long needed them. Plus doing all that cleaning that one always puts off cause you just hate doing it or if I'm just trying way too hard to pretend I'm not here alone with my kids. My Hubby told me do some fun stuff. Fun stuff? With WHOM do I do fun stuff with? I know a select few people on post from Church and that's it. Most of the girls I know and hope/try to be friends with say I live too far away to bother coming to spend time with. (My guess is I'm really not much of a priority, they have other girlfriends they'd rather do stuff with.) Oh well I guess, can't really change that. So, I've been busy over the last 24 hours. I've unloaded about ten boxes that have been sitting in my garage and other various parts of my house needing to be put away. Now granted they aren't all put away but they've been compiled and narrowed down. Right now, I'm sorting my books because they are everywhere and I'm actually putting them in on our computer so I know what we have and they will sort them for me. I know I'm crazy, right? I'm lonely. Somebody come rescue me from my boredom! If not, my Hubby might come home and wonder whose house he's in!
I hope you all had a really amazing Mother's Day. Mine wasn't all bad. I didn't get anything fancy since my kids are 3, 2 and 9 weeks. We had Tostinos frozen pizzas for dinner and watched AFV. Exciting, huh? I know you are all amazing mother's and you all deserve the best. I hope you got it. Love you all!
This is my Mom (and well, my Grandma too), but my Mom is so amazing. I don't know what I would do without her. She lives a couple hours from us, which I guess compared to alot of you isn't bad at all, but its still a distance for her to come visit. But my Mom always makes time in her schedule at work when I have a baby to come and help me for a week, she couldn't after Aislynn, but she sent my sister and brother in her place then came for the weekend. She wasn't able to come right away after Rhiannon was born, which was ok since we had to wait three weeks to bring our little miracle baby home anyway, but the week following her homecoming my Mom was here helping me with everything. She made extra food to freeze so I had stuff to cook later and not stress, took my kids to do fun things and was just awesome. I love my Mom. I may not always tell her, but I do love her and am very glad she's mine. She'll be coming this next weekend to help me with my kids and give me a break in my long run without my Hubby. It will be much appreciated. So, here's to you Mom. I hope you have an amazing Mother's Day!
Had to celebrate the big '3' before Daddy left for his time with the Army this year and so this is us partying it up. We went to a local Spring Carnival at the elementary school, came back had a yummy bourbon chicken dinner, a very yummy ice cream cake, some presents and a light saber battle encompassed our night. I'd have to say it made for a memorable one for our kids.
Daddy bought Aislynn her her own little light saber so that she didn't feel left out. It cost $3 at the carnival and made her night!
My poor little pixie wasn't having very much fun. She was still suffering side effects from her shots the day before and didn't feel very good. She just wanted to be held and be held. I held her into the wee hours of morning.
So I might die a painful death if my sweet Hubby finds out I have pics of him sort of dancing with the kids, but they are too cute to not show off. This is from our when we danced to our Country Dance Music for the WII as a family night activity. Every night since then Aidan wants to 'Dance.' Its too cute!
Shock. Gasp. I know, MilSpouses never have those. Ok, so those who aren't MilSpouses assume that we don't because we are expected to be brave ALL THE TIME and keep our break down moments to ourselves. Here is mine. So, my Hubby is gone. Off to an undisclosed location for an undisclosed amount of time and I'm really not doing well. Of course I'll put on the tough face for everybody, but I have to tell somebody (even if its those of you I don't know) that I'm not all that tough.
You know when 'shit hits the fan' its usually alot and not alittle. Well, that would be the case for me right now. Between having just had a D&C and still struggling to recover & therefore take it easy or as easy as one can with two toddlers & a newborn, and some pretty hefty debilitating migraines I've been feeling alittle under the weather. Then just before my Hubby left we ran into some financial issues that were unexpected and now I'm like doubly stressed.
I know I can handle all this, I mean I've done the deployment before and several ATs, including the one that I delivered my daughter sans my Hubby (in true Military fashion), but honestly to me each one of these Military events is its own stress and a new time to struggle to be the 'tough' Army wife that seems expected of me. (Which by the way I hate the stereotype! Just saying) With all of this going on and him leaving I feel this sudden overload of stress and responsibility, and honestly I crashed. I shut myself in our bathroom, sat in the tub with the curtain closed and bawled my eyes out. (I am not ashamed to admit it) I needed to vent everything I'd pent up for who knows how long.
I feel inadequate to take care of everything. That includes my three kids. Sometimes I hate that I am responsible for so much even when my Hubby is here, but that's how things work. Yet I feel so overwhelmed and I feel so lost. Another problem that is weighing on me is that I feel lost without friends. I've been trying to set up a Girl's day while my Hubby's gone, but I really don't have friends and certainly no one who wants to come spend time with me. With my health being as it is and now the money issues its better I stay close to home, but of course no one wants to come 'way out' to where I live. It's been a really touchy subject for awhile and I don't know what to do. I can came across as a very confident individual, but really I'm just a really good actress. A Really good actress.
Sometimes I need to be just a woman. A woman like any other. Who cries when she's sad. Who yells when she's angry or feels like she's been misjudged or mistreated. Who's happy about the simple joys of life. Sometimes I just need to be Human. So, here's my moment. Ok, I'm done. I can be this superhuman that people think I am. ;)
Am I alone in what I'm feeling? I don't know, maybe I am. Honestly, I guess I write this pretending that people read this, that I'm actually an entertaining writing, but I think I just need a place to write words and feelings. It is nice to hear that I Matter to someone, even if I don't know them. Ok, I feel a lot more calm. I hope I haven't bored you to tears and if I have just skip this post, I'll have a fun one later today with pics of my cute kids. This was just something that needed to be written.
Here are a few I took with what's got to be the world's worst camera. Tax returns I'm getting a pretty nice SLR Digital camera and I can't wait to see what I can do with it. What do you think of these?
A parting thought before I hit the sack (which really should be so much earlier than 0217), why am I finding it so hard to get a bunch of girls together for a girl's day. I don't want to do anything fancy just get together to scrapbook and work on crafts. Kids are even welcome. I've really been wanting to do one for quite awhile, but with my Hubby's AT so imminent what a perfect time to do it. I won't interfere with my limited time with him and I keep myself busy and I would rather do my craft stuff with others than by myself. I can't get anyone interested. I get a lot of 'hey, come to my place' or some such thing, but I just had surgery and I'm already overdoing it and causing myself no end of grief due to it. I need to stay home, but no sense in being bored. Any suggestions?
Short Story. We bought Country Music Dance for the WII 2 days ago. I've played three times. 1st time: for fun I danced to four or five songs. 2nd time: for a serious workout I danced 8 or 9 songs. 3rd time: (tonight or rather last night) I made it through three songs, barely. It kicked my butt. End of story. ;)
She seems to think she has the whole pumping thing figured out. If mom can do it, so can I. She found the handle for my hand pump and was trying to 'pump.' We all had a good laugh! You never know what will happen in my house!