Rolling With the Punches

And rolling with the punches is exactly what I've had to do. As you all know I signed up as a Beachbody Coach and started working on getting into shape by starting with their 21 Day Fix program. I started out on fire and I was kicking butts & taking names. I was excited and each day I found myself feeling invigorated. I'm even taking a Zumba class twice a week and a Yoga class once a week at school. Aren't I a brave one? LOL. And the best part, my Fibromyalgia seemed to be taking a backseat. I was on top of the world.

Day 2 of 21 Day Fix Post Workout

Or at least I thought I was until my first weekend began with the first real migraine I'd had in weeks, perhaps even a month. I felt weak, exhausted, raging nausea, vertigo, really the works. I was downright miserable. Much to my disappointment, I found that I didn't feel up to working out nor did I feel that it was in the best interest of my poor body to try. One day wasn't a big deal, I would just pick up from where I left off the day before and keep busting my booty to lose weight.

But one day rolled into two, which raged and raced, and before I knew it a week had gone by. In that week, I hadn't done a single one of the 21 Day Fix workouts and while I had still attended my classes, I had to sit out after about 3 or 4 songs during Zumba on the Wednesday and wasn't able to join in the remainder of the class. Which really made me sad, because I am really finding that I love that class. I hurt afterward, but I know it means I've busted my but and that feels good. I even struggled with Yoga and left with an even worse migraine than I had when I started.

I was honestly feeling discouraged. I couldn't figure out what it was that was causing this sudden increase in my migraines. I even quick drinking my Shakeology shakes for about 4 days to make sure it wasn't anything in that (it is all natural and healthy superfoods), but I found no real change and so I resumed drinking a shake a day. I thought it could have been all the working out, but I'd seriously reduced the amount with not doing the workouts setup in program. I was at a loss and frustrated.

All of this began to make me question my ability to be an effective coach. I mean how could I advise and coach others about proper eating and working out, if I couldn't even complete the program myself. I was sick, stressed and very disappointed in this almost cruel twist in my plans. I had finally grown tired of being unable to lose the weight on my own, but I hadn't wanted to resort to taking medications to lose the weight. So, when I'd made my decision to take the plunge, I'd be excited, full of hope and not a small bit scared. It seemed that this whole thing was a major blow to all of that.

I honestly felt ready to throw in the towel. I wasn't cut out for this and I was just going to stay fat forever. (OK, I admit to being a bit melodramatic, but I felt frustrated and super disappointed) Then I got talking to this amazing and wonderful friend, who I'm glad to call family. She too suffers from Fibromyalgia and she pointed out that I shouldn't be too hard on myself. She pointed out that I'd made a huge step just by wanting to be more active and to lose weight, and by making the steps to do so. She got me to thinking and I realized I needed to reevaluate how I was looking at things.

Dealing with chronic pain on a daily basis, it's a huge step to take and I still need to listen to MY body. I need to take things at my pace and not be discouraged if I can't keep up with everything, its enough that I'm trying and not giving up. I may not have been completely successful in the workout portion, but I have changed how my husband and I both eat. I don't think I've eaten so healthy ever! As far as the workouts go, I need to push myself and try to workout even when I feel worn out or in pain, but that I need to listen to my body. (A measure of pain isn't necessarily a bad thing) I just need to make sure to listen and if I do that I can give myself the right amount of pushing without hurting myself.

That's when something clicked. I couldn't give up as a coach, not when I have a unique perspective to offer. I can help those who find themselves needing to roll with the punches, those who feel discouraged when they face a setback, because I've been there. I have had to make adjustments and find what works for me. I can help them find what works for them and help them become healthier & reach their goals. Not only can I help, but I truly want to help. I want others to know that they are NOT alone and that they are NOT failures.

If you are ready to make a change, feel free to contact me. I really am excited to help you make the changes you need and live a healthier life.

I did my weigh in and measurements on Friday, and I was delighted with my results. Here are my beginning measurements and the measurements on Friday.

Starting #s:
1/18/16
Left Thigh: 22.5
Right Thigh: 23.2
Left Calf: 14.2
Right Calf: 14.3
Hips: 46.3
Waist: 43.4
Chest: 43.8
Left Bicep: 12.5
Right Bicep: 12.1
Weight: 206

1/30/16
Left Thigh: 18.9
Right Thigh: 19.1
Left Calf: 14.3
Right Calf: 14.9
Hips: 44.3
Waist: 41.7
Chest: 41.0
Left Bicep: 12.5
Right Bicep: 12.1
Weight: 200.8

Even with the setback on my workouts, I still managed to drop some weight and see changes in most of my measurements. That excites me, that tells me that I can still do this even if I need to make adjustments on my bad days. I'm still making progress, while it might not be as quickly as those who can complete the program as its setup, but I can still achieve my goals. So can you!

As a side not, I still haven't been able to find a reprieve from my migraines, but I do have an appointment with my Dr later today and hopefully we'll be able to get a handle on this.

Thank you for joining me in my journey to a happier and healthier me!

Goals

*Drink a minimum of 80 oz to start, but I want to work up to a minimum of 100 oz each day.

*I want to do no less than 3 workout sessions a week, but I definitely want to work up to doing the full 21 Day Fix from start to finish.

*I want to continue to eat the healthy portions and the wide variety of healthy goodies.

*I want to find new recipes that I can easily merge my healthy portions into, so that we have a better selection of meals.

What are your goals?

"Breathe...It's only a bad day, not a bad life."

-Johnny Depp

My Moment of Weakness

Shock. Gasp. I know, MilSpouses never have those. Ok, so those who aren't MilSpouses assume that we don't because we are expected to be brave ALL THE TIME and keep our break down moments to ourselves. Here is mine. So, my Hubby is gone. Off to an undisclosed location for an undisclosed amount of time and I'm really not doing well. Of course I'll put on the tough face for everybody, but I have to tell somebody (even if its those of you I don't know) that I'm not all that tough.

You know when 'shit hits the fan' its usually alot and not alittle. Well, that would be the case for me right now. Between having just had a D&C and still struggling to recover & therefore take it easy or as easy as one can with two toddlers & a newborn, and some pretty hefty debilitating migraines I've been feeling alittle under the weather. Then just before my Hubby left we ran into some financial issues that were unexpected and now I'm like doubly stressed.

I know I can handle all this, I mean I've done the deployment before and several ATs, including the one that I delivered my daughter sans my Hubby (in true Military fashion), but honestly to me each one of these Military events is its own stress and a new time to struggle to be the 'tough' Army wife that seems expected of me. (Which by the way I hate the stereotype! Just saying) With all of this going on and him leaving I feel this sudden overload of stress and responsibility, and honestly I crashed. I shut myself in our bathroom, sat in the tub with the curtain closed and bawled my eyes out. (I am not ashamed to admit it) I needed to vent everything I'd pent up for who knows how long.

I feel inadequate to take care of everything. That includes my three kids. Sometimes I hate that I am responsible for so much even when my Hubby is here, but that's how things work. Yet I feel so overwhelmed and I feel so lost. Another problem that is weighing on me is that I feel lost without friends. I've been trying to set up a Girl's day while my Hubby's gone, but I really don't have friends and certainly no one who wants to come spend time with me. With my health being as it is and now the money issues its better I stay close to home, but of course no one wants to come 'way out' to where I live. It's been a really touchy subject for awhile and I don't know what to do. I can came across as a very confident individual, but really I'm just a really good actress. A Really good actress.

Sometimes I need to be just a woman. A woman like any other.  Who cries when she's sad. Who yells when she's angry or feels like she's been misjudged or mistreated. Who's happy about the simple joys of life. Sometimes I just need to be Human. So, here's my moment. Ok, I'm done. I can be this superhuman that people think I am. ;)

Am I alone in what I'm feeling? I don't know, maybe I am. Honestly, I guess I write this pretending that people read this, that I'm actually an entertaining writing, but I think I just need a place to write words and feelings. It is nice to hear that I Matter to someone, even if I don't know them. Ok, I feel a lot more calm. I hope I haven't bored you to tears and if I have just skip this post, I'll have a fun one later today with pics of my cute kids. This was just something that needed to be written.