In a world with a 4 year old, a 3 year old, a 16 month old, a 3 month old and two soldiers you never know what misadventures await. Life is always springing the unexpected and I want to share them with you. Welcome to my world.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Day 6: Something You Hope You Never Have To Do

I guess with this I am of the same opinion as most of my friends, but I hope I never have to bury my Husband or a child. I know for the first one it's a risk we all take as spouses of soldiers, but I hope I never have to see my Hubby that way. I have had nightmares of this very thing for years, even before we actually got married. Horrifically graphic dreams that I wake up unsure if I'm dreaming or not. I know that there are so many wives who are living this nightmare everyday, who have to get dressed every morning and go on with their days, knowing that their husbands are not coming home. I want to say I can't imagine what its like, but having the blogger world open windows into the homes of the war widows gives you a glimpse, a very real glimpse, into what a widow deals with. I have nothing but respect and love for these women. They do what I'm not sure I could; keep going. I'm not sure I would know how to tell my body how to keep going, to keep breathing. I just don't know how I'd do it. Of course we all know that if it came down to it we'd find a way to function, even if all it was, was to go on autopilot, we would do it. Someone still has to take care of the kids, the house, the bills, down to the most mundane things. It has to get done. So I will. As for losing a child, I think it would go along the same lines. Trying to function, to live without that sweet little voice in my home. I've miscarried and that's pretty rough, but to lose a child you've raised and come to know would be devastating. Even to bury a child who you carried to term only to lose a matter of days or weeks later, even if you knew it was inevitable would be awful. So I pray all the time that I never have to live to see either of those events. I don't think anyone could blame me.

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