Today was one of those days where nothing seems to go just right. You know the kind of day you almost want to shout at the sky, 'Why me?' A scene we often see play before us on upteen million movies and tv shows. Its the kind of day I catch myself wondering even if for just a brief moment why I signed up for this and where can I return to sender? Ok, so maybe that's stretching it a little, but it still was a day full of a cranky teething almost one year old and my two year old, well just being a terrible two year old. Today I was truly an Army wife. My hubby is has been at AT for the last week and you really start to fully appreciate the little things they do for you when they're not around.
I want laugh when I hear people talk about Soldiers' spouses like we are some kind of being that sits far above 'normal' people. I want to take them aside and say we're no different than anyone else. So we spend large amounts of time apart from those we love and as much as we support what they do & what they stand for, I know I would love nothing more than to have peace so they could be home with us. Its not like we want them gone. It still hurts us when they're not here and it still is really stressful when we have to take care of everything at home. But we all knew what we were getting ourselves into when we married them. We married them because we loved them and we still do.
Then there are the people, who that because we married soldiers we have to be tough all the time and I just don't agree with that. Yes, we all are brave and have strength beyond what we sometimes feel that we actually have. But place us in any situation and we'll find a way to survive, to push through. Yet, we are still human and we can't always be strong. We have limits, we have weaknesses and we know that. It can be a little aggravating that people assume that we can just suck it all up and never shed a tear, never show any emotion.
I'll admit while my husband has been gone this AT, it's really been a challenge and I find that I have no one to turn to. I know that we can survive this. Two weeks is nothing compared to a 15 month deployment after having been apart for six months worth of training before that. We made it through that, but just because we made it through that doesn't make it any easier each time they leave.
We recently moved onto our first military base, because he's Army Reserves its not like we get moved from one post to another. We actually moved here due to a change in his civilian job and now he does security for the Federal side here on Post. I don't really know anybody, its not how I pictured living on base would be. I thought everybody would be jumping all over introducing themselves to new move-ins, but I guess with so many coming & going that nobody bothers. So, this AT has been really lonely and my two kids are not much on conversation or at least grown-up conversation.
I'll survive. I always do, but I still think about what everybody who isn't apart of a Military Family expects of me and I wonder what they'd think about all the things that are really true about us. That we are more like them than they think, we're just more prepared for the unexpected than they are. Because we all know nothing is certain until its on paper and even then it still change.
I hope you will all continue to join me and my family's misadventures. I'm looking forward to making some new friends!
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